Men’s Group in Bellingham, WA, USA
What does it mean to be a man in today’s world? What is the healthy masculine? Where do I go to get support and make strong personal connections with other guys?
Bellingham Men’s Circle is an in-person men’s group – led by Peter Schulte, Sherman Wang, and Rich Schaeff – that creates a powerful container for men to process difficulties in their life, get clarity on the man they want to be, commit to action, get support, and build community.
Join us!
A place for you to go deep, connect, and get support and take responsibility for your life
We create a safe, welcome, and powerful container in which men of all kinds can cultivate power, vulnerability, wildness, care, honesty, authenticity, integrity, connection, and support.
Logistics
What?
We are a men’s support group that meets in person twice a month. Outside of circle, we support each other through an online chat thread on the Signal app.
Where?
Rising Moon Meadows. Contact Peter Schulte for exact address.
When?
First and third Monday of the month, 6-8pm. We also intend to convene social opportunities (e.g., hikes, meals, etc.) and opportunities to serve others in the group and the community. Please arrive on time. Those arriving after 6:05pm will be turned away.
Decisionmaking
All decisions regarding the structure and logistics of the group are made by consensus by Peter Schulte and Sherman Wang. For significant decisions, Peter and Sherman will solicit input from all regularly participating members and seek a broadly acceptable plan. We intend to use this hierarchical structure to create a sense of consistency, stability, and ultimately safety and model conscious, inclusive leadership. Feedback on our leadership and facilitation is welcome.
Requirements
Any person above the age of 20 who considers themselves a man is welcome. No training or initiation is needed to join this circle. Every man must agree to the agreements below. This is not a place to debate politics.
Agreements
We hold the following as sacred commitments that create a powerful and safe container. Anyone who is not willing or able to honor them will be asked to leave. These rules apply to all interactions on the Rising Moon Meadows premises before, during, and after circle.
- Confidentiality: What is said here stays here. Outside of circle, I speak about my own experience. I do not use other men’s names or tell other men’s stories.
- Safety: If I or any other man says “safety,” “stop,” or “I feel unsafe,” then whatever process is occurring stops immediately. I can ask for additional physical or emotional safety considerations at any time.
- Consent: I and any other man may pass on any activity or agenda item at any time by saying “No” or “Pass,” no questions asked.
- No advice: I ask for the support I need. I do not offer my perspectives, opinions, judgments, or solutions unless they are explicitly requested.
- No solicitation: I am not here to mentor, coach, or teach other men. I will not promote my projects, services, or events before, during, or after circle. I will not reach out to men with whom I have no existing relationship regarding my projects, services, or events.
Additional good practices
The following are additional guidelines for how men conduct themselves in circle. However, while the above agreements are absolutely critical for the safety and effectiveness of the container, we acknowledge that many men may at times fall short of meeting the guidelines below.
- No caretaking: I am not here to caretake or solve other men’s problems. I am here to listen, witness, offer support, and ask powerful questions.
- Responsibility: It is my responsibility to ask for what I want.
- Honesty: I share my feelings, even when they are uncomfortable for me or others.
- Accountability: I am accountable for the agreements I make. If I break an agreement with myself or any other man in our circle, I will own and examine that choice in circle. I ask other men in our circle to invite me into accountability should I fail to do so myself.
- Listening: When another is speaking, I listen. I am not thinking about how I will respond.
- “I” statement”: I use “I statements,” not “you statements.” I speak for myself. I own my own experience.
- Substances: If I am in a mind-altered state due to drugs or alcohol, I will acknowledge this to the group when I check-in and the leadership group will discuss how to proceed.
- No shaming: I invite men to share the worst parts of themselves. I never shame a man for his poor decisions or failures. I celebrate a man for sharing his whole self with me.
- No political debates: While we may share about our emotional reactions to political events, this is not a space to debate politics or advocate for political positions.
Meeting Structure
- Entrance: Cross the threshold, enter the circle space.
- Welcome (5 minutes): Welcome from the lead facilitator.
- Agreements (3 minutes): Review agreements and secure active confirmation.
- Grounding (2 minutes): A short meditation to foster presence.
- Check-in (~1 minute per person): Name, purpose metaphor, emotions, accountability report.
- Spotlight (5-15 minutes): One man offers a teaching, song, poem, ritual, process, or question to the group. The Spotlighted man and his offering are identified before the meeting.
(split into groups if more than 10 men are present)
- Dive-In (3-5 minutes per person): What are you struggling with? What growth within must take place for you to be the man you most want to be?
- Deep Dive (20-40 minutes): One man per group undergoes a facilitated process to experience and express his emotions, delve into and integrate shadow, and/or come to greater insight into his life.
(come back to full circle 15 minutes from end of meeting)
- Check-out (1-2 minutes per person): Name, purpose metaphor, accountability declaration, core take-away from tonight’s circle.
- Call of the Wild (1 minute): Close circle with a collective primal yell and movement
Online Facilitation Training
To facilitate the Deep Dive round, a man must have attended a facilitation training within the last 30 days and agree to our facilitation principles. Training only pertains to the one-on-one support offered in the Deep Dive round, not the overarching facilitation of the men’s ground. Facilitation trainings take place via online video conference on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month from 6-7pm.
Suggested Donation
Those who regularly join Bellingham Men’s Circle are asked to make a voluntary donation of $15 a month. This money goes toward space rental and promotion costs and also helps foster commitment and investment among participants. No man will be turned away due to lack of funds.
Join Us!
To check out a meeting and see if it’s right for you, drop us a line and we will send further details.
Bellingham Men’s Circle is a men’s group program from Spark of Genius – a 501c3 nonprofit founded and led by Peter Schulte. We offer inspiration for a more conscious, caring, and creative world, through a weekly good news newsletter, writing, and 1:1 coaching.